On Friday, a glossy eighteen-wheeler stretched its deluxe 75-foot frame along the prime High Street parking spaces across from Harkness Tower and adjacent to Yale’s Old Campus courtyard. “Black Elm Productions” was embossed on the side of the double-stacking Kenworth Cab.

Hey, that’s gotta be associated with the Spring Fling, I realized. I got out my phone and went to the Yale Daily News to find out who would be headlining this year.

Bring ’em out. Bring ’em out… like everybody else, I like hearing some rim-rattling Glocks ‘n Gucci flow from the Dirty South. But I’ve never really managed to progress beyond my late-aughts cultural touchpoints. T.I. — What You Know. Rick Ross — Port of Miami. Young Jeezy. Now that it’s literally the year 2025, I’m literally like some mesozoic insect caught in amber. I’d never even heard of NLE Choppa, not to speak of never having heard Shotta Flow.

When I got home, I was wiring up the subwoofer so that I could get a bead on Choppa’s merits when I was informed that I’d missed a recent update from the Yale Daily News.

Some additional web-searching revealed how the committee had wound up handling the blow.

Ken Carson? WTF? Sounds like somebody that would have been opening up for Toby Keith.

My initial concerns, however were, thankfully, entirely unfounded. Check out the way the ‘808 drops in right at 2:10 of Blakk Rokkstar. That’s just about the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard.